; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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