problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I need a burrito and a hug.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize