I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
