No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
she told me i tasted like america
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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