When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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