sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
