He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize