We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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