I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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