dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
