she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
