i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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