My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
