we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
