Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
