I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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