We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
