I wanna bring you to show and tell
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
