dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
