You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
