What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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