woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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