I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
