Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
