If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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