i just had sex bonerless
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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