Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Randomize
