I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
