i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize