I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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