i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
