i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize