More tranny stories later!
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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