so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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