your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize