I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
