Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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