she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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