True but thats because hes a fetus.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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