I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
