that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
