I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
