You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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