do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Randomize
