and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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