dude i'm inner monologue high
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
