Porn is love you can see.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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