I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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