your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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