Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
