yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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