Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize