i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
