is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
