he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
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