she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
