That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
