I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
