Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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